The Wife Thinks She's an Outdoors Woman pokes fun at sexual stereotypes with a NL twist; best published in May for the Victoria Day weekend.

The Wife Thinks She’s an Outdoors Woman

Oh, the wife, she wants to go troutin’
Up the woods with me & the b’ys
So what do I tell me buddies?
Come May month, will I tell them big lies?
She’s learned all about fish spinners
Knows a Red Devil from a Mapps Lure
But I won’t let her use me chain saw
So the youngsters won’t come to no harm.

So she’s picked up a bunch of new tackle
Got a spin rod and fishing vest too,
Can’t talk her out of her coming.
Don’t know what I’m going to do.

When I turn up at the cabin
At the start of the long weekend,
With the wife in the truck with her fishing rod
With the b’ys she’ll never fit in.

I told her it was all just grand, dear
There’s only one small thing, in fact
That peaked cap really suits you
But the fish vest makes your butt look fat.


That did not put her off one bit
So we started on our way
I drove on up to the camp with our gear
As I planned out what I would say.

Oh, she put on her full fly net
And she sprayed herself with fly dope
Maybe they would not know her...
A fella can only hope.

The truck was loaded down with gear,
With beer, grub and some wine
Imagine their faces when I told the b’ys
The one in the blackfly burka’s mine.

But she went down on the pond that night
And got right on down to work.
She was rigging out her fishing rod
When she let out a blarin’ shout.

“Duckie, put a worm on my hook, will ya?
I can’t stand to see it squirm.”
“Well, if you can’t do that for yerself,” I said,
“You’re no real Outdoors Girl.”

She gave me such a terrible look.
Her rod she flung down in disgust.
She tore right out of that camp that night,
Could not see her for the dust.

So that night we sat by the campfire
Just meself and all of the b’ys,
“With women, you got to be firm, my son.”
Wouldn’t say I was saved by a worm.


(Verse by Jeannie Guy. Cartoon by Sey. Aug. 18, 2010)
  Submitted By: NULL