i'm relic the handsome logger boy and i'm better than most of them flakes for i get my logs to the mill no matter what it takes i drive very carefully and i've never had a spill but i was overwhelmed one day while climbing logan hill it was warm and wet and slimy that greasy layer was thin my momentum got me half way up but then she began to spin i'm already around the half-way bend and i'm not gaining a fraction so i'll try and lug my motor down to help me with my traction but she's starting to slip down backwards so i'll shift her up a notch and to prevent myself from getting wet i'll squeeze my trembling crotch now she's fully out of control i'm in one hell of a bind and the thought of bailing out keeps running through my mind i want to write my last will to my very next of kin when all of a sudden my left front stake has pushed my mirror in there is no one else to blame i know it's my own fault but i feel a little better now for i've come to a grinding halt so i jump out the passanger door to look at this terrible mess and i thank the lord for my luck there's nothing major to assess well now i pull and stretch my hair and wonder where's my brains for the only thing i can look forward to is slapping on my chains and when i get this chore all done will my problems never cease for now i'm covered head to toe in slimy mud and grease but i jump back in the drivers seat and pray for a better day and when i ease out the clutch i slowly pull away now i check my rearview mirror to see this hill i've mastered and there staring back at me is a long haired greasy bastard but i am very contented now and i know it won't be long when all them al-pac logger boys sing this relic song here comes that long haired greasy bastard going backwards in his forward gears his trailers are going all cock-eyed no matter how he steers fear's taken it's toll cause his shorts are full for he's dropped his latest meal he's aged another twenty years and he's lost his sex appeal he may be a little faint of heart and he's probably a little choked but he'll haul logs another day for at least he never croaked i know he was a little scared that day and his eyeballs nearly floated but what really hurt his pride he wasn't even loaded but we all salute relic you have the strength and the will we know you fought so gallantly and know you're over the hill.   Submitted By: NULL