'THE LOBSTER ATTACK' A young man from the Prairies had become friends with my brother. When a lobster season opened he was first in line to buy lobsters and invite half a dozen of his new Newfoundland friends to his home for a lobster supper. The night came for the special supper and my brother and his friends arrived to find their host covered in scratches and cuts and visibly upset. When they inquired as to what happened, he said the lobsters had to be tied down and nobody had told him that and they had kept trying to get away. Of course the Newfoundlanders, including my brother, were baffled as to what had happened. So they eventually got the full story. The host knew nothing about lobsters so he told them that he had asked the man he bought them from how to cook them and he had said "Ya biles 'em b'y!" So he came home and put the lobster into the oven and having mistaken the word 'biles' for 'broils' he had put the crustaceans into the oven under the broiler. Of course the lobster crashed and banged around inside the oven, causing the perplexed lobster cooker to open the oven door and proceed to tie the lobster down. Consequently the lobsters had grasped him with their claws, fallen on the floor, flapped their tails, and generally roughed him up. And he had the added misery of burns from the hot oven on his arms and hands, plus the total embarrassment of the whole experience. My brother and his friends roared with laughter and told him what he had done in mistaking the word ‘biles’ for ‘broils’, the dialect of the lobster seller obviously had confused him. Eventually the lobsters were boiled, eaten and enjoyed. Being an able group of young men they set to work to teach this ‘landlubber’ the way of life on a big Island in the Atlantic. However, the generous host really did not learn too much about Newfoundland during his six-month stay. He proved that before he left when he went to Cape Spear and crawled down the steep cliffs to go swimming. He darn near ended it all. An old man came to his aid when he heard the screaming for help. "Some things ya gotta learn for yerself" the old man told him when he eventually got him back on dry rocks. Then he went on to ask "Don’t wanna buy some lobster do ya? Got a truck load over there!" The almost drowned young man stared into space, probably dreaming of golden fields of grain! Bonnie Jarvis-Lowe   Submitted By: Bonnie Jarvis-Lowe