Submitted Sat, 6 Jan 2007 Happy 2007 to ALL!

Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk, more a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd said, "Yes, thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

I said to myself, as only I can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So--away with the last of the sour cream dip
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
"Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll need only chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore-
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all - and to all a good diet!   Submitted By: NULL