Just back from lunch and there was a young fella no more than 18 or 19 sitting next to us looking like Hopalong Talks a lot. We live in the province where lots of real cowboys make a living on ranches or the rodeo. So it is hard to tell the fake ones from the real. I was told the real ones usually have some cow patty on their boots. His boots were Sunday-go-to-meeting clean. I am a visual soul and learn by listening and observing. As they say in security, observe and report. Not much to report. Just filling in time. Where do I start with weirdos? Those are my people. The Introverts. The guys who take a pocket novel to a family reunion. Which leads me to my next story.

It was about 37 years ago and I feel it is taking up too much space in my little brain and it is time to bury it. I am laughing because I remember it well. How do I start without hurting someone? It was the summer of 1989 I believe it was, and I was working as a Bar Steward at the Senior Staff Mess at Royal Roads Military College. ( Royal Roads had its 50th Birthday as a Mil College.)

The Vice Commandant was a helpful enough officer. Maybe tried too hard in some areas. By then I had been a professional Military Steward for about ten years. I was raised around booze and hung around bars since I was 18. He did not have that info on me and he was probably too busy to ask. Being the second-highest ranking officer at the College was probably a stressful job. Every day at noon he would come to the bar with a Head Honcho and order a couple of drinks. It would go something like this:
Corporal, I would like a dark Rum and Coke with ice in an old-fashioned glass. First you put in the ice, then a shot of rum and then top it up with Coke. Would you like a garnish? No Thanks. Oh, and a Gin and Tonic for my friend. You get the gin glass add ice, gin and tonic. Oh, with a twist of lemon.
Then he would look at me unconvincingly and ask. Have You got that Corporal? Yes Sir, no problem through clenched teeth.
Then we get word that Her Excellency the Governor General, who at that time was Madame Jean Sauve (Spelling might be an issue). My Petty Officer tells me that I will be following her around with silver tray service and the Vice would like a word. Yes, because you knows this is my first rodeo. Already served Prince Philip, her boss, back in ‘86 in Australia.
Now Corporal, while serving her you must remember not to give eye contact. You know us servants are not worthy to look royalty in the eye.
Well my boss had the greatest belly laugh and when I told him about not giving eye contact he would laugh and tease me about it. Remember now Kenny, wear those big dark glasses and don’t let her see your eyeballs! Fair enough, says I. Never one to turn down a grin. Like Father, Like Son.

On to my closing tale. Lola and myself are not cell phone or computer people at all. My Phone is mostly for emergencies and taking photos. I have anxiety, so when I get a text when driving it feels like someone is bombing the car. I usually have it on ‘sorry, driving, will answer when I get there’. Back before those modern gadgets came around I got along fine. I kind of live my life like it is 1984. Sometimes I forget my phone is not a landline and I can answer anywhere. When at home, my phone is turned off and if Lola needs me she can get me on Facebook. My laptop is another story. I spend way too much time on it. I can see it better. Easier to type with my big all thumbs. I like Online Karaoke which I do diligently a couple of songs daily. Keep an eye on friends and relatives on Facebook and Bluesky. I asked our server about a song today. Turns out she likes to sing too. A beautiful voice. Belted out a couple of bars of Dancing Queen. You never know people’s talents until you ask. Thanks for your time. Just working on trying to get my mojo developed enough to create a good story. If you like wasting time like this, I am sure we will meet again on the road to happy destiny. See Ya!

PS. Never forgot the guy who asked me if Lee Harvey Oswald would ever be let out of jail. How to answer that one I ponder?