My Child is an Addict

The tragic loss of a child leads one parent on a journey of hope and healing. 

Stephen Randell admits he doesn’t recall ever deciding to write a book – things just turned out that way. “The writing started while Zachary was still with us – probably about six months before his passing,” he begins.

It was while “putting the work in” to deal with his son’s addiction that writing became therapy.

“Zach was obviously in a bad way at that point and I just started writing. Journaling, you’d call it, I call them my survival notes, and I still keep those notes to this day and reread them and add to them,” he says.

A year after his son’s passing – accidentally through addiction – writing and sharing is what keeps him strong.
“This book (My Child is An Addict: Navigating Through Your Child’s Addiction) is for parents and loved ones alike who wake up one day to find their once peaceful world unfairly stolen from them when the scourge of addiction and mental illness within the family is laid upon their doorstep,” he shares passionately.

Inside the pages are heart-wrenching personal stories, but the positive side is this: with hindsight comes clarity and hope for the future.

“I hope there’s a faint light in this book. When people are at their darkest, they need to know they will come out the other side,” Stephen says. “A father who suffered and survived offers hope. That’s my goal.”

A portion of the proceeds from every book purchased go to The Zachary Newhook Randell Memorial Bench Fund, a registered charity supporting individuals struggling with homelessness, mental health and addictions in addition to charity-based recovery programs.

“A memorial bench is located in Mount Pearl, erected at the location of Zach’s passing. Installation was completed on July 15, 2023, exactly one year after his struggles with mental illness and addiction ended. While I lived every parent’s greatest fears, I also was endeavouring to keep my emotional, mental and physical self intact at the same time,” Stephen shares.

Stephen explains that the book is not a how-to guide, but shares experiences with helpful tips, like paying attention to the “small things.”

He says he started noticing a change in his son shortly after Zach’s 18th birthday. “In hindsight, there were red flags, but at the time all I said was, ‘That’s out of character’ or ‘That’s not the norm.’ These types of things started to appear in small ways and I’ve learned now that those small things are the ones you need to be paying attention to.”

By the time Zachary was 20, Stephen was fully aware that his son was an addict. “There was no more wondering, it was full-on, but at the time I hadn’t brought myself to that level of acceptance, but I certainly knew there was a massive problem.”

From 20 to 26, Stephen says his son fought “a hard battle.”

“It was a daily struggle. He had times in those six years where he would be clean for just a little bit or sober for very short windows of time. At that point, I took every bit of hope I could get.” And Zachary tried, Stephen adds. “I wholeheartedly believe he didn’t want to live that life. He tried hard, but in the end, the addiction had taken over and it did win the battle. It was six years of really, really difficult times. And at 26, Zach passed.”

While the writing was helpful, it was also a painful experience on many levels, Stephen says.

“When you start writing these things and retelling stories, you have to relive it. And that was very challenging, without a doubt. Emotionally, mentally, in every way imaginable.”

But after Zach passed and Stephen started to share stories, he found a commonality and a community he never knew existed. “I had an amazing amount of people reach out to me from literally all over the world and go, ‘Thanks for talking about this.’ Their stories were so similar to mine. Of course, their circumstances all had their nuances, but I realized these common denominators were everywhere.”

He realized he was not alone. That was huge. “That made a huge impact on me. It’s a shared experience, and sharing stories with others can help you process things. It won’t help you necessarily get over it, but it can certainly help you process it and learn to live better with it. And that was a motivation for me.”

This book is not only personal stories, but a lifeline offering practical advice and emotional support to help others navigate the challenging journey of having a loved one dealing with addiction, Stephen explains.

“I hope this book helps people out there dealing with this, or living through this, rediscover meaning and hope. I want others to see that there is a life beyond living with addiction. But don’t just wait and hope for things to get better, take action now and start that journey towards finding meaning and healing in whatever form that takes.”

My Child is an Addict is available on Amazon and stephenlrandell.com