One of the most admired qualities in Newfoundlanders and Labradorians is our sense of humour. We can laugh at ourselves, pull a fast one on a friend, or tell a joke with the best of them. Give our collection of jokes a read and have a laugh telling them at your next family gathering.
Crappy Experience
That day was pretty crappy, but the most crappy part happened when we found out that our toilet was clogged. I said, "Enough of that crap," before pressing on with the plunger. Sometimes you just got to bring that crap down!
THIS COULD BE US ONE DAY Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to
start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' ... click to read moreCouple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to
start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!
Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns
from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast?'
Complete vs. Finished
Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. But there is an explanation, as told by a Newfoundlander:
When you marry the right one, you are complete...
When you marry the wrong one, you are finished...
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are completely finished!
End of story!
Christine Serafinchon Edmonton, Alberta
(4.38 rating, 8 votes)
Money Exchange
Two guys in Toronto were trying to make counterfeit money but the bills turned out to be $18 bills. One guy said, "Let's go to Newfoundland, they will take them there."
They arrived in Newfoundland and went into a country store. They gave the clerk a bill and asked if he would change it for them.
The clerk said, "Yes, would you like three sixes or two nines?"
Scientific Progress Goes "Bang" It's good to laugh:
The British Association for the Advancement of Science held a year-long project to discover the world's funniest joke, inviting people to submit their favourites, and then set about rating how funny they were.
The project was reported across the globe, resulting in over 40,000 jokes.
Here's the winner:
Two hunters are out in the woods; one of them collapses, doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are ... click to read moreIt's good to laugh:
The British Association for the Advancement of Science held a year-long project to discover the world's funniest joke, inviting people to submit their favourites, and then set about rating how funny they were.
The project was reported across the globe, resulting in over 40,000 jokes.
Here's the winner:
Two hunters are out in the woods; one of them collapses, doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are closed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls 911. He gasps, "My friend is dead, what can I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is silence, and then a shot.
Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?" ... Hide full submission
Ted Burke London, ON
(3.86 rating, 7 votes)
Sign Recently Seen at Marine Atlantic Terminal North Sydney
"Walk on passengers are reminded they are prohibited from walking to or from our vessels."
